Love Letters

Love Letters,


I have a love for love letters, not so much the getting them, not to say I don't love that, of course I do. My love for love letters is for making them, yes making, not just writing, I take love letters seriously and I think a bit more than just some words on paper is needed to really hit home ( if home is a a super creepy place you shouldn't really go).

My love for love letters started at a early age, like 4, I started with my mom, I would write these letters all the time, They would tell her how beautiful and amazing and funny she was, my spelling was off (my spelling is still off) but the effort and sentiment was there.

I would draw in these cards and always sign them with not only my name but a spirally heart thing, I had style (this spirally heart thing ended up being the first tattoo I got)


I would write love letters to my cousins and friends (never my sisters or brothers, they could suck it, jerks) then 4th grade hit, and with it came a soccer ball to my face.
yep.
really, like a real soccer ball, right in my face.
I was playing soccer in PE or something and while I was minding my own business, in the middle of the field a soccer ball make flying at me at what must have been no less than a million miles an hour.
It hit me, I flew on my back, my face turned bright red and swelled up. Its didn't really hurt so much, but I knew everyone had seen and i was trying to figure out how I could get as little attention from this as possible when,

Let me stop and tell you what you might already know by now, i was not a 'cool' kid, I was not popular and people really had so problem making fun of me for about anything, my name WAS A-man-duh and I dressed more like Kurt Cobain than a Spice Girl, I had no training bra and I read books when I was supposed to be 'playing' or something.

Okay back to me, on the ground in the middle of the field with a tingly tomato face. The whole class stopped and started to surround me, they were all starting in on the giggling and ooowwww's, then came Alex. Alex was the most handsome 4th grader you have ever seen, he had perfect hair and perfect shoes, his closes were always exactly right and everyone loved him. He was, the shit. He also was the one who kicked the soccer ball. Alex came rushing over, he moved threw the crowd of on lookers and knelt down next to me. I was expecting him to of course gawk at my face and freak out at how red i got, I had brothers and was used to getting hurt then getting laughed at for getting hurt, it was routine by now, I had a high pain tolerances and could throw a punch, which beet playing dress up any day. Okay back to Alex, leaning over me, he said, "oh my god are you okay? I'm so so sorry!" and the craziest part is, he meant it, I could see it in his face, he had no idea how much rough housing I could take and to top it off he was worried about me, oh man, the best kid in our class was caring all over me right in front of the rest of those suckers.

That was the day I decided Alex would be my next Love Letter target.

I started writing him anonymous letters almost every day. I would hide them some place in school like under a swing or behind a book and leave him a clue on the last letter where to find the next letter. I got really into it. I never really wanted to talk with him, he would ask me something in class and I would blow him off. It's not that I was scared or intimidated, I just wasn't that into talking with him, just writing to him. Eventually Alex found out it was me and told his older brother to tell my older brother to tell me to knock it off, or my older brother just made that up because he thought I was a freak, either way I stopped, but my love of love letters have never died. I have since had numerous relationships I just kept going for the letter writing.

I now even have a box of letters I have written to me.

But I wish I had a box of all the letters I wrote instead.

Xoxo